Rightway: The Strange Backwards Mystery
by MrLRocks78
Summary: After giving Mr. L a good smack on the head with a magic-charged wrench, the alter-ego of an alter-ego makes an appearance... Rightway! Now, the Evene couple and the minions must discover the mystery behind the barrier between Mr. L and Rightway... or just get L back to normal!
1. One Weird Phenomenon

Mr. L was working on Brobot's latest upgrade: underwater navigation. It was hard-going, uncrossing all the wires, rewiring said wires, removing the steel plating, replacing it with water-proof plating, adding torch beams to the eyes and underwater missiles (missiles!) to the hands, and about fifty other things. Then, he had to check, double-check and triple-check the GPS system. THEN he added an extra turnable knob so that he could switch from "Standard" to "L-Type" and, finally, to "Aquatic".

A familiar chuckle behind him made him turn.

"Dimentio," said L, "get your sorry butt outta here before I have to get violent."

"No need for threats!" exclaimed Dimentio, wiping the smile hastily from his face. "I only meant to say... how's the upgrade coming along?"

A little startled that his friend had taken the time to ask about said upgrade, Mr. L took no time in replying. "Pretty good."

"Interesting," murmured Dimentio. L turned away. However, if he hadn't, he would have caught the evil glint in Dimentio's eye. He would have seen him make a nearby wrench fly towards him. He would have yelled as the jester approached him, steel tool raised. But, of course, he didn't see. He didn't turn. He certainly didn't yell.

He just slumped to the floor as he was struck on the cranium with a wrench.

* * *

"DEE EFF, DUDE!"

Dimentio cowered, cursing himself for being discovered smuggling Mr. L out of the latter's room. Raven, O'Chunks, Mimi and Nastasia bore down on him, eyes blazing. O'Chunks was flexing his muscles. Mimi was cracking her neck. Nastasia was narrowing her eyes. Raven's gloves and sash were glowing.

"I have a very good explanation for the past events!" gabbled the jester, backing away oh-so-slowly.

"You ain't goin' nowhere, Dim!" bellowed O'Chunks, lunging and grabbing the jester by the scruff of the neck. With his free hand, the Scotsman grabbed Dimentio's hands and arms and forced them behind his back. Utterly helpless, Dimentio looked towards Raven for help.

"FC, please"

"Her name isn't FC!" shrieked Mimi, grabbing two Rubees and hurling them at the jester. Fortunately, in her rage, they completely missed.

"Dimentio, this time you've gone too far!" yelled Nastasia.

"Why'd ya do it, anyway, Dim-Sim?" demanded Raven.

"It was revenge!" shouted Dimentio, as O'Chunks bent the jester's thumbs backwards. "Simple, idiotic, petty revenge!"

"It were idiotic a'right!" scolded O'Chunks. "Ya lousy scrap o' fabric 'n lace!"

"You're going straight to the Count, 'K!" snapped Nastasia.

Suddenly, the back part of Raven's sash the parts trailing down her back jerked upwards. Everyone looked towards her as she gave a yell and pointed to the unconscious Green Thunder.

As four pairs of eyes snapped towards Mr. L, four lower jaws dropped. Instead of Mr. L, a strange, Mr.-L-like human was sitting on the floor, with a politely puzzled expression.

His brown, tusseled hair showed clearly over the black mask flopped over his head. Instead of his bandanna, his cap was tied around his neck, the L facing the right way. His green eyes were crossed, and his overalls back-to-front. His wings, in contrast to jet-black, were pure-white, and were growing backwards, the feathers arranged in the wrong places. As they looked at him, he said, "Tuba wombat alphebatise tap dance!" and beamed, as though extremely proud of himself.

"Uh..." said Raven. "I'd say that's weird, but that would be insulting to weird things."

"Refridgerator?" said the thing, staring at Raven. As he did so, his eyes pointed in different directions comically.

"Aw!" gushed Mimi. "He's _sooooo cute_!"

"That's insulting to cute things," said Nastasia.

"Uh... whuz ya name, lad?" asked O'Chunks.

"O'Chunks, you dum-dum!" snapped Mimi. "He's... uh..."

"The alter-ego of an alter-ego... I am... RIGHTWAY!" yelled the thing, jumping up and flying around in circles. Befuddled, the others watched as Rightway's wings rotated backwards, apparently pulling him along through the air, as he was going backwards.

"At least he can talk normally," said Nastasia, relieved.

"How c'n L have an alter-ego?" frowned O'Chunks, scratching his head.

"I admit that the wrench was half-charged with some of my magic," admitted Dimentio.

"DIMENTIO SCURRA, YOU IDIOT!" screamed Raven, but Rightway interrupted her.

"Syncopated jitterbug sparkle flight!" chirped Rightway.

"What was it you said about talking _normally_?" smirked Dimentio. Nastasia gave him a good whack on the head.

"Well, we'd better get him to the County ASAP!" exclaimed Mimi, grabbing his cap and yanking him along.

"Good idea," said Nastasia, holding the door open to permit the five others through.


	2. A Net and some Scissors

"Count Blumiere is very disappointed in you, Dimentio," said the Count, his eyes blazing. Dimentio whimpered. He was partially sorry for his friend, but even more sorry for himself. If he couldn't defend himself, the punishment would be disastrous.

"Luckily," came Timpani's cold voice as she moved into view beside her husband, "we aren't feeling as vicious towards you as usual. You are excused from punishment, but you have to help us get Mr. L back to normal. Agreed?"

"Oh, yes!" gasped Dimentio, relieved. "I accept the offer, as willingly as a stalking lion accepts a sleeping gazelle as prey!"

"Uh, Count? Lady?" came Nastasia's voice from a corridor away. "We got a slight problem!"

"Dimentio, teleport us QUICK! Demanded Count Blumiere!"

The jester clicked his fingers hastily, and the trio reappeared in the relaxation chamber/living room. Nastasia and Mimi were standing back, their hair frizzled and their eyes displaying both a loss for what to do and smothered laughter. Raven and O'Chunks were leaping from one end of the chamber to another, trying desperately to catch Rightway.

The Count gaped. "What kind of... alter-ego... is THIS?"

Timpani, meanwhile, was doubled up in laughter. "HAHAHAHHAHAHAAH! Oh, Grambi! My sides! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! This is hilarious!"

"Hang on!" yelled the Count, who swung his scepter over his shoulder, the dark-blue jewel pointing straight at Rightway. A thin beam of light burst from the tip and expanded into a blue glowing net, which flung itself around Rightway.

"Unicorn baking powder!" exclaimed Rightway, as he found himself bound. His opposite-direction-facing eyes then narrowed and flashed from emerald to scarlet, and he screamed, "SCISSORS!"

Almost immediately, a giant pair of green scissors appeared in mid-air. "Cut!" commanded Rightway, and the scissors sliced through the net with ease. Then, the scissors shimmered into nothingness, as well as the discarded net.

"What the..." whispered Blumiere, as Rightway rose into the air and began his strange flight pattern again, chirping out random words at random intervals. "How does that even make SENSE?"

"Coming from Rightway, that's like one plus one equals two," admitted Dimentio. "Trust me, that's the most sensible thing he's done. Well, apart from introducing himself."

"He has a NAME?" hissed the Count.

"Well, yes," said Dimentio.

"COUNTY!" whined Mimi. "HE'S WEIRD! MAKE HIM STOP ALREADY!"

"IT MAKES NO SEEEEEEEENSE!" screamed Nastasia, grabbing tufts of pink hair and yanking at them crazily.

"I can't get near 'im!" bellowed O'Chunks.

"SHUT UP!" exploded Raven, holding up her hands. Everyone fell silent, even the now-sobbing Timpani as she sank to the floor in her mirth.

"Fried fish!" finished Rightway, and he took a curtsey before opening his mouth. Incorrectly-spelt words floated out of his open mouth, before his tongue shot out and gulped them all back in, frog-like. He then gave a loud bark and fell on his stomach before slithering away like a snake.

"GETTIM!" roared O'Chunks, and the minions charged after the chaotic alter-ego.

_Author's Note: If anyone can guess where a certain MLP:FiM creepypasta is referenced, they earn a cookie!_


	3. The Chaos Bringers

"SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL SHEEN AND CREAM PUFFS."

The minions and couple were standing in the doorway, watching Rightway as he backwards-flew all around the meeting room.

It was complete chaos. Bikes rode with no rider across the ceilings. Pigs with wings swam with a perfect backwards breaststroke, while dancing pianos tap-danced themselves across a football oval filled with footballs kicking humans around. Monocles popped like bubbles and reformed everywhere in the air, and buffalo were walking on their front hooves with shirts on their legs and pants on their heads.

The summoned chaotic things were causing a massive delay in getting to Rightway. Frustrated, Raven picked up a nearby pig and hopped onto its back.

"To Rightway!" she yelled, pointing at said alter-ego.

The pig gave a bark and flipped over onto its back, so that all the blood rushed to Raven's head. "GAAAH!" she yelled in surprise. "GUYS, CAN YOU PLEASE _HELP ME?_"

"A'right, jes' hang on!" called O'Chunks, and tackled the pig to the ground. Howling, the pig bucked O'Chunks off of itself, then resumed its lazy swim through the air.

"Ow," commented Mimi.

"Dimentio, get rid of them, commanded Count Blumiere!" Count Blumiere commanded.

Dimentio smirked in reply and clicked his fingers. Immediately, all the summoned chaos-bringers disappeared.

"Good job, 'K?" said Nastasia grudgingly.

But it didn't last long. A full ten seconds later, twice the amount of chaos-bringers had popped into the room.

"PAINTBRUSH!" screamed Rightway, and a giant mouse appeared, which charged at the minions and couple before blowing them out of the room with a gust of paint that streamed from its eyes like fountains.

The door slammed with a shut, and there was the squawk of a chicken. Timpani ran to the door and tried to tug it open, but her efforts yielded nothing.

"Damn," panted the ex-Pixl.

"How are we gonna get those meanie-heads outta there?" whined Mimi.

"Ask Dimentio," growled Raven.

"What?"

"You got us into this mess!" yelled Raven, prodding the jester in the chest.

"She's got a point," agreed O'Chunks.

"Hmm," murmured the Count, pulling his top hat down. Timpani approached him, but his head suddenly flew up.

"I've GOT IT!"

"What is it?" asked Nastasia.

"The longer Rightway is in control of Mr. L's body, the stranger he becomes!" exclaimed the Count, beginning to pace furiously. "Therefore, he becomes even MORE angered by logic every time we try to approach him normally."

"So what you're sayin' is...?" said O'Chunks.

"All we have to do is act completely and utterly ridiculous in order to get to him!" concluded Blumiere, slamming his scepter handle down on the floor in triumph.

"What d'ya have in mind?" asked the Scotsman.

Dimentio's head perked up. "I may have an idea..."


	4. Bye Bye, Bringers

Thud.

"OW."

Thud.

"OW."

Thud.

"OW."

Thud.

"OW."

"Once more!" called Dimentio.

He, the Count, Timpani, O'Chunks, Nastasia and Mimi doubled their grip on Raven and hurled her into the door as one.

"OW," she said.

"It's never going to work!" whined Mimi, releasing Raven's legs.. "Plus, I'm _tired__._"

"Same here," panted Nastasia, letting go of Raven as well. The remaining three let go of the forest girl, so that she thudded to the ground.

"OW!" she yelled. Raven then got up, rubbing her head. "Dammit, that hurt guys!"

"Good," said Dimentio lightly.

Timpani wasn't laughing anymore. She had her head cocked to one side, and it appeared that she was thinking very deeply indeed.

"Um, Timpani, my dear?" interrupted Blumiere tentatively.

"Yes?" said Timpani, giving a little start.

"Um, may Count Blumiere ask about what you are thinking of?"

"I'm thinking if I can turn into a Pixl and sneak in through the window," explained the rainbow lady.

"WHAT?" shouted the minions.

"Yeh can DO t'at, lass?" breathed O'Chunks weakly.

"Uh, yeah," replied Timpani.

"Why didn't you TELL us?" demanded Raven.

"It... was supposed to be a surprise?" answered Blumiere sheepishly.

"This is your idea of a SURPRISE?" yelled Nastasia, her hair almost coming out of its bun.

"Surprise?" said Timpani quietly.

Dimentio suddenly roared and clutched at his head. "That is IT! I have had ENOUGH! I am going to go in there and, ah, what is the common term? KICK THAT IDIOT'S BUTT!"

And before anyone could say a word, Dimentio had burst through the door. And he hadn't even stopped to open it.

* * *

Rightway was happy. Very happy. He was sitting on a TV made entirely of chocolate, and was congratulating himself. His way, of course.

"Swine echolocation invisible rinse party!" he announced.

The bikes and pigs and monocles and footballs and buffalo all started clucking like chickens. And it was around this time that Dimentio burst through the door.

"PREPARE TO DIE, HELL SPAWN!" the jester roared, pointing a threatening finger at Rightway.

But the strange alter-ego simply cocked his head and said, "Moonie?"

Dimentio charged, roaring like an angry bull, his hands surrounded in purple-and-yellow dimensional aura and a magic blast in each hand already charging up. Rightway frowned and raised his left foot, while chanting, "Pinpoint, pinpoint, pinpoint!"

Immediately, a leprechaun appeared. He bared his teeth at Dimentio, who stopped dead in mid-air, and suddenly sprouted emu legs and wings. The leprechaun began washing the pile of dirty dishes that had appeared in a pile next to him, kettle-like sounds coming out from his ears.

Dimentio's reason suddenly caught up with his senses. His plan of attack... should he start now?

Tentatively, the jester gulped. "Frog?" he said weakly.

Rightway's eyes suddenly lit up. He clapped twenty-seven times, making the now-tap-dancing leprechaun turn into a flying cookie, then looked at Dimentio with a large grin.

"Plaster!" he replied.

"Uhm... e-earthquake?" said Dimentio.

"Scroll cajole!" agreed Rightway, now nodding happily.

"Vet... leopard... banana?" replied Dimentio.

"Warty toe?" gasped Rightway, his eyes starting to display fear.

Dimentio was starting to feel more confident. "Grapefruit," he said.

"Flare element llama quinjet!" gasped Rightway. He started making a clicking noise with his tongue.

At the first click, a buffalo disappeared. The next click brought down a pig. The third made a bike go away. With each tongue click, a chaos bringer disappeared. Rightway started clicking faster and faster, until everything was gone.

"W-wow," stammered Dimentio.

"Uh, Dimentio?" called Count Blumiere from the door. "May we ask what in the holy name of Grambi is happening?"

"Well,"said Dimentio, "it's a long story."


	5. The End?

Dimentio held up the heavy wrench. It was Mr. L's favourite shade of jet-black, and its outline was tinged with purple magic.

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" asked Mimi, who was staying well back.

"As sure as Koopas have shells, my dear Mimi," cooed Dimentio. He raised the wrench higher, so it loomed over his head.

O'Chunks and Count Blumiere stepped backwards slightly. They were each holding the strangely silent Rightway by the wings. Lady Timpani's hands were surrounded in a shimmering rainbow aura. Nastasia had her glasses at the ready. Raven was flapping overhead as a crow.

"Kay, Dim, better do it now," said O'Chunks, nodding at Rightway.

"As hard as you can, added Count Blumiere."

Dimentio nodded curtly and hovered cautiously over to Rightway. Wide innocent eyes turned on him, and he almost felt sorry for the alter-ego. But then the feeling was gone, and the jester was bringing the bulky wrench down on Rightway's skull.

**THUD.**

Rightway slumped to the floor, unconscious. O'Chunks and Count Blumiere released their grip immediately, and Timpani began checking for injuries.

"Anything?" cawed Raven from above.

"No blood," said Timpani, "but he took quite a hit. He'll be unconscious for a few hours."

"In the meantime," grimaced Blumiere, turning to Dimentio, "we can deal with you."

* * *

Mr. L flapped unsteadily through the halls of Castle Bleck. He kept feeling the large bandaged bruise on his forehead, and wondering at it. What had he been doing, again?

He entered the living room, where the other minions were watching a rerun of The Bing Bang Theory. L lingered at the doorway, watching the others for signs of recognition.

"Why would he waste his money on a book no-one's gonna read?" demanded Raven, as Leonard tossed away a book while Penny watched on.

"Maybe it went to charity," mused Mimi.

Mr. L melted away into the shadows. If they were busy, he wasn't going to disturb them.

As he strode off, L considered a quick fly to clear his mind. He set course for the roof, and in a matter of minutes had reached his destination. The wind whipped his hair as Mr. L spread his wings, and leaped off the Castle roof.

The wind blossomed out from underneath his wings, and L rose like a bullet. He folded his wings and dove, streaking towards the ground before whipping his wings open and sweeping back up into the now clear blue.

Once he was at cloud level, Mr. L slowed and settled for casual flapping. But maybe, just maybe, if he had listened a bit harder, flown just a bit slower, he would have heard a childish voice chirp out a strange assortment of words.

"Tuba wombat alphebatise tap-dance!"


End file.
